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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

I'm SOOO Lucky! People ALWAYS Want to Give me Money!

Yeah know, I'm not sure how I became SO lucky, but it seems every day practically I get e-mails from some nice person in Africa or in China, or in Outer Angola, willing to open their wallets and share with me their GREAT fortune--usually cash, but sometimes daimonds-- if I'll only let them deposit HUGE sums of money in my bank account!

For this small act on my part, I am usually offered to receive 50% of the profits after helping them transfer the funds to another account TBD later.
Doesn't seem too much to ask!!

I just have to give them my address, social security number, date of birth...oh... and bank account number, routing number, photo, and sometimes a copy of my passport! Of course! All perfectly sound and logical.

I am overwhelmed by this generosity, really... Why me? Why should I be SO lucky and so blessed? Did I wake up on the right side of the bed, find a four leaf clover, avoid stepping under ladders or crossing a black cat?

No, really, it JUST happens! Honest!!

These lovely missives simply show up on my e-mail account, and I don't have to do one single thing to make it happen!

It truly IS the magic of the internet that they could find me like this. Out of the blue. The ONE person in the WHOLE world who can help them.

Other times, long lost relatives in England have left me ample inheritances, and there have been a few cases where some poor soul has died without ANY heirs, and just wants to find some nice person to leave their estate to, and have decided on ME!

I guess all my years of trying to be a good person are finally paying off. Thank God, I was getting kinda tired of being so good all the time.

Aside from that, the generosity truly warms the heart, doesn't it?

Today, for example, I received the e-mail below. I have to say, of all the e-mails I receive asking for my help, support, bank account, or credit card information, this one was one of the MOST thought out and articulate. Why the story it paints. And MOST of the words are spelled correctly too!
HOW can I resist?

I really just wanted to share it with you all. This letter from my new friend..uh.. let me look...Morine Lorna! Yes, Morine. Charming child. Beautiful child. Lives in Burkina Faso, apparently, at least until her father died in a horrible plane crash and her wicked step-Mom and Uncle made off with the family fortune....Oh, but I should let you read the story in Morine's words:


Hello My Dear , How is your day ? I guess nice.Mine is a little bit hot over here in Ougadougou Burkina Faso.My name is Morine Lorna Laboso I'm (23) years, from Kenya in West Africa. I am 5'7" tall, Fair in complexion,Single (never married before) My late father Dr,Lorna Laboso was the Assistant Minister of Home Affairs. Mine beloved father had been on board the Cessna 210, which was headed to Jericho and crashed in a remote area called Kajong'a, in western Kenya . The plane crashed on the Tuesday 10Th, June,2008.

After the burial of my father, my stepmother and uncle conspired and sold my father's properties to an Italian Expert rate which the shared the money among themselves and live nothing for me. One faithful morning, I opened my father's briefcase and found out the documents which he have deposited huge amount of money in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin,I have written to the bank asking them to release the money. so that I can take care of myself and start a new life, the Bank Director told me that my father's instruction to the bank is that the money would only be release to me when I am married or present a trustee who will help me and invest the money overseas.
My Father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$9,400,000.00 in a bank with my name as the next of kin.

However, i shall forward you with the necessary documents on confirmation of your acceptance to assist me for the transfer and investment of the fund, i will like to complete! my studies, as i was in my first year in the university before the sudden death of my father, in any case , my extended family abandoned me, i am currently living on the charity of the church and God’s grace, i need your help to collect this money in the bank and invest it in a profitable venture in your country, i am contacting you to assist in repatriating the money left behind by my Father before they get confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where the deposit was made.

Mean while i wanted to escape to to any where in the world she hide away mine international passport and other valuables travelling documents luckily she did not discorver where i kept mine father file which contains important documents, so i decided to run to the refugee camp where i am presently seeking asylum under the United Nations High Commission for refugee here in Ouagadugu Capital of the Republic of Burkinafaso.

I wish to contact you personally for a long term business relationship and investment assistance in your Country.If the money is properly and profitably invested abroad ,
I intend to leave Burkina Faso permanently.

Can I count on your help? As soon as i receive your positive response showing your interest i will put things in actionimmediately in the light of the above, i shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction sincerely, i am staying at the female hostel.For your help and assistance, you will keep 20% of the money for your self and balance shall be kept for me in safe custody for investment capital until I travel to meet you and invest my share.

Waiting for your urgent and positive response, please do keep this only to your self, please i beg you not to disclose it till i come over, once the fund has been transferred i will be obtaining my travelling documents to meet you so that i will start a new life with you and your family in your country, I will like you to send a copy of your photograph to me, am waiting to hear from you soon

Morine Lorna

I particularly like that she took the time to ask me how my day was? See, good manners are something that NEVER go out of style!

So, I guess after this whole thing is done, Morine will come over to the US to live with my family and I. I haven't told them yet. But I'm sure they'll be pleased.

Of course, I'll be STINKING wealthy by then, and won't have time to be blogging or talk to anyone anymore, really, so just wanted to give you the heads up.

And ya never know this good fortune might find you as well!
Tah Tah.


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